A Question & Answer Session....

Hooray!  I finally have a few questions from readers to answer - what a historic and monumental day!  A dear childhood friend of mine sent me a facebook message (oh, how I love Facebook, and I know I'm probably too old to admit that...) asking a few questions regarding addressing envelopes and wedding etiquette, so below you'll find my attempt at clearing up her confusion.

1.  How do you address a wedding invitation to an unmarried woman, her child (with a different last name), and her live-in boyfriend?

I have a super easy short-cut for this: ONLY married couples are listed on the same line when addressing an invitation (regardless of whether they share the same name or if the woman goes by her maiden name).  The only time that a boyfriend or girlfriend should be included by name on the envelope (instead of either person being invited with a guest) is if they live together but are NOT married.  (Keep in mind that this is a recent developement in etiquette, so there are probably plenty of people out there who disagree with me...bring it on!!!)  As always, the woman is listed first.  For instance, Ms. Good Manners is living with Mr. Gentle Man, so the invitation would be addressed as such:

Ms. Good Manners
Mr. Gentle Man
2222 House Street
Nowhere, Texas 75552

Children are always listed a line below their parents (or the adults), and don't forget about using the proper titles found in my previous post!  Here's an example:

Ms. Good Manners
Mr. Gentle Man
Miss Po Lite
2222 House Street
Nowhere, Texas 75552

Inner Envelope

Ms. Manners
Mr. Man
Miss Lite

Now, when siblings are invited, each child is listed on a separate line, the oldest listed first, such as:

Ms. Good Manners
Mr. Gentle Man
Miss Pretty Please
Miss Yes Please
2222 House Street
Nowhere, Texas 75552

Inner Envelope

Ms. Manners
Mr. Man
Miss Lite
Miss Please

2.  Do you write an invitee's guest's name if you know them?

This one is a bit controversial, but my opinion is no, you never write a person's guest's name, unless they are BOTH invited.  For instance, you invite your best friend to your wedding, and want to include her boyfriend (who would NOT be invited apart from your best friend, even though you know she'll bring him as her date), then you would address the outer invitation as such:

Miss Best Friend
2222 Best Street
Best, Texas 72222

Inner Envelope:

Miss Friend and Guest

Quick note:  When sending any social invitations (other than a wedding) with only an outer envelope, "& guest" appears after the invitee's name.  For example:

Miss Po Lite & Guest
2222 Po Street
Po, Texas 70000

If both guests are your friends (and both would be invited individually, regardless of whether they were dating), then send the invitation to both:

Miss Best Friend
Mr. Cute Guy
2222 Hot Street
Hot, Texas 72222

Inner Envelope

Miss Friend
Mr. Guy

3.  Is it correct to congratulate the bride and groom, or only the groom?

I've often heard the "congrats" vs. "best wishes" debate, so I thought I would try and find a reference to it from Emily Post or Letitia Baldridge but, suprisingly, I wasn't able to find any specific direction on the issue.  I was always told (and will continue thinking) that you should only "congratulate" the groom, and offer your "best wishes" to the bride.  It was thought that by congratulating the bride, you were implying that she was finally able to "snag" or "win" a husband.  You congratulate the groom on the bride's acceptance of his marriage proposal.   However, it's acceptable to say either when the couple is together. 

Hope this answers your questions, LO, and keep 'em coming!